4-9-2009

4-9-2009

“Courage is being scared to death-but saddling up anyway”

The fourth inning began with my weekly lab work and visitation with the Home Team trainers and doctors.  I was experiencing some ulcers in my throat and mouth from the radiation late Sunday, so the doctors prescribed some medication to help with that.  Presents some problems with eating and talking, but I need to trim down for the season, and I’d guess there may be some who would be alright if I were fairly quiet over the next 6 weeks, so I’ll take that in stride!  The good news is that my labs indicate the tumors continue to diminish in size from treatments.  Dr. Clayman, my oncologist shared today, “I hate to have to put you through this, but you will be rewarded in the end.”  I quoted him my favorite verse, 1st Corinthians, 9:24, and shared that we both want that “prize” at the end of the game and that I am “running to win this race”!

It’s still hard getting any consistent sleep due to the throat issues and congestion.  Might take a hose to the “dugout” and clean it out one day soon… My radiation nurse, Peggy, has “adopted me as her son” during my treatments and I affectionately refer to her as “mom”.  She suggested I rinse and gargle with “meat tenderizer” to help with the pain and healing in my mouth and throat.  She shared this was a strategy they have recently come across to assist patients with neck and throat cancer.  Being an educator, I asked if that was “research based” or “Heloise based” and like a true mom she said a little of both, so try it! So, since it feels like my mouth and throat have been “grilled” I guess it makes sense to try.

As I finished the Armstrong book, I wanted to share a reflection that I have in common with Lance as we both have faced a similar situation.  Lance shares that people have often asked him about his quote in the book in which he shares that “given a choice between cancer and winning the Tour de France, I’d choose the cancer.”  He goes on to explain that he “wouldn’t have learned all he did if he hadn’t had to contend with the cancer”.  He also shares he “couldn’t have won even one Tour without my fight, because of what it taught me”.  For example, he trained hard before his illness, he was never lazy, but after the cancer, he did even more.  Lance shared it even taught him how to cope with losing, it taught him that sometimes the experience of losing things, whether health, or a home, or an old sense of self has its own value in the scheme of life.  Cancer forced Lance, and me to develop a plan for living, and that in turn taught us both how to develop smaller goals to achieve those plans.  Take my advice, don’t wait for a major life event to happen to you, make a plan for your life and set it out in small attainable goals.  Take each day one at a time, and do your best to make it productive!

By the way, I did take the time to watch my Atlanta Braves defeat the World Champion Philadelphia Phillies on opening day!  Go Braves!

John Wayne, one of my favorite classic actors who also had a battle with cancer shares one of my favorite quotes, and ironically, it was delivered to me here at Hope Lodge by a good friend on Tuesday after a combined 9 hour chemo and radiation session.  It goes like this:
“Courage is being scared to death-but saddling up anyway”
Says it all for me!