Reflections from the Home Team, April 9, 2018

“As I think about the physical work, mental preparation, and ‘performance anxiety’ that accompanies spring training, I can’t help but take pause and reflect on how many similarities there are between the work involved in getting ready for a baseball season and the work involved in preparing your self for the ups and downs of a cancer journey.”

Greetings from Cedar Falls,

As it appears spring has had a hard time finding us this year, Major League baseball teams have reported back north to begin their baseball seasons following weeks of preparation in spring training drills, conditioning and game situations. The season will be a six-month marathon filled with 162 games as they try to earn the right to play a seventh month. If a team never played extra innings that’s 1,458 innings of baseball! (What could be better??) The season will include many ups and downs as well as a few aches and pains along the way. The preparation and work put in prior to the season will pay dividends as the players enjoy the game of baseball while also facing the “daily grind” of a long season.

As I think about the physical work, mental preparation, and “performance anxiety” that accompanies spring training, I can’t help but take pause and reflect on how many similarities there are between the work involved in getting ready for a baseball season and the work involved in preparing your self for the ups and downs of a cancer journey…

For many years, I was able to tell people that God had blessed me with good health, and then, in 2009, I was diagnosed with cancer. Having experienced only minor illnesses in my life up to that point, (despite a couple of knocks in the head with a baseball), cancer was quite a shock.  All during my cancer treatments, many of my family and friends, (my “Home Team”) prayed for me. I experienced some anxious moments, but I was always aware that those who loved and cared about me were praying for me and asking God to support me. I began to realize that I still had the greatest blessing of all—God’s unconditional love shown through the support of loved ones and friends.

As part of this reflection, I’m asking for some prayers from my “Home Team” for a young man I have become acquainted with in Texas through one of my former players who has been coaching him. His name is Trevor, he is 16 years old and he is battling bone cancer. He is in the midst of treatments and is going through some difficult times.  If you are on Facebook, you can find him at TStrong. Just as I was blessed with the love of God and my “Home Team” during my treatments, I am asking for your prayers for Trevor so that he may also realize, just as I have, that God has blessed him with love greater than any struggle he may face!

As I’ve visited with many folks who either are facing a cancer diagnosis themselves or with a loved one, the question that so often pops up is “What do I do now that I’ve been diagnosed??”  I’ve been asked that question several times in the past few weeks alone as I interact in some of my unscripted conversations with others. I can recall the shock and numbness I experienced when I came home from University of Iowa Hospitals with my diagnosis… It was life changing! And that brings me to this reflection.

As I “replay” the multitude of emotions I experienced during the first few months following my diagnosis, I generally place them into four categories; Attitude, Anxiety, Trust and Controlling the controllable.

Attitude…

Just as success in baseball so often depends on having a positive attitude, the importance of having a grateful and positive attitude, no matter what our circumstance, needs to carry over into our daily lives. Many negative thoughts often creep into our minds when we are challenged.  In baseball, it may be “If I don’t start getting some hits they’re going to send me down”, or “If we don’t start winning some games I’m going to get fired.” In a cancer journey, it may be “What if my lab results are negative”, or “The pain and misery of treatments are beginning to seem unbearable”.

As Thomas Jefferson stated; “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” Even when the challenges of a cancer journey stand in our way, we need to do our best to turn a negative into a positive.  The following thought has been very helpful for me on my journey… “By remembering that each day is a new beginning, we can either waste it or use it for good. What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever, leaving in its place something I have traded for it. I want it to be a gain, not a loss, good, not evil; success, not failure.” As we face life’s challenges, don’t allow those challenges to dictate your emotions. Be positive and proactive, not negative and reactive as you move forward. The Apostle Paul provided us with instructions for dealing with life’s difficulties in Romans 12:12… “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.”  That has been a good formula for me.

Anxiety…
Thoughts like the ones above often enter our minds at some point during the day and when they do we feel the anxiety that comes with them. And that anxiety makes it even harder for us to have success.

What gives us the best chance at success is focusing completely on the task that is currently in front of us and doing it the best we can. When we do that, then we don’t have time for worrying. Our minds are so focused on what we’re doing that our anxious thoughts get crowded out. As one of my favorite baseball coaches drilled into my head, “To be successful, you have to fix your eyes and focus on the ball, blocking out all those things that may be whirling around in your mind competing for your focus and attention.”

When feeling anxious, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What action can I take in this moment that will help me?” By living in the present you can focus on that action with everything that you have! As Will Rogers shared; “We can’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” My most important take away is that the past can't be changed, and that we have God's help in the present as well as His hope for the future. I need to remind myself to try and relax... trusting in His control over my life while remembering He is always close providing abundant joy with His presence in our lives. As Jesus teaches us in Matthew 6:34; “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Trust …

Like most people, I have failed more times than I care to remember. I’ve struck out playing baseball; I’ve made mistakes as a teacher, coach and administrator. Yet, when I look back, I realize that every failure has moved me forward. Every failure taught me a lesson and made me stronger, wiser and better. I’ve realized that sometimes we have to fail to move forward.

Through each challenge and failure we may experience, we must stay hopeful and know that failure can lead us to a better future if we have an attitude of faith, are open to the possibilities and TRUST that new opportunities may be coming our way. I have placed trust in those around me to help me learn and grow from my experiences. By placing my trust in family, my friends, my medical team and most importantly, God, it has helped me to look at failure not as a dead end but rather as a temporary detour to a better outcome.

And what hits me is this… Jesus never called us to focus on what's wrong with everything; he called us to remember God is in control - of everything. By trusting in Him, that will bring us peace. When you have difficult moments that may cause pain and suffering, take the time to bring them to God and ask for His guidance.  Don’t beat yourself up wondering “why me.”  Remember, as Psalm 46:1 teaches us; “God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.” God’s purpose for us is not to grant our every wish, making life easy and pain free, but rather to learn to trust Him in all circumstances.

Controlling the controllable…

We don’t get to choose what happens to us in life. As much as we’d like to think we have a great deal of control over the events that happen to us, the fact is that we do not. What is always within our control, however, is what meaning we give those events.

We need to remember that we don’t control what happens to us in life, but we do get to decide how we’re going to react. If we’re sent to the Minors, or cut from a team, or when we get diagnosed with a serious health condition like cancer, we can choose to focus on the unfairness of it and be a victim or we can live in the present, taking one day at a time while revolving our thoughts around hope and guaranteeing ourselves that nowhere in our story will it ever read “I gave up!” Events don’t define us. How we choose to react and the meaning we give them does.

Only God can take the broken pieces of our life and make something beautiful out of each one. He is waiting for us to let go of our pain and trust Him, knowing that He is in control. And we really can trust Him. I have to remind myself of that when my thoughts wander and when my aches and pains trigger those thoughts. No one loves us like He does. I may not always understand or even like His process, but I can always trust in His heart of love for me.  God’s promise to us in 1 Corinthians 13:8.13 speaks clearly about His love for us; “Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love.” No matter what lies ahead, God is faithful. No matter how difficult the trial may be, God is with us and will deliver us in it or from it.

By receiving God’s healing, loving and guiding presence during times of weakness and wounding in our lives, and in turn revealing them to others, we can help comfort and strengthen those who may be experiencing the same struggles. God’s strength comes into it’s own in our weaknesses.  The two fit perfectly together.

Thanks for keeping Trevor in your prayers, and thanks for being such a special and supportive part of my Home Team!

In Christ’s love and comfort,       

   

Dave

Are you or someone you know fighting cancer... struggling with the physical, emotional and spiritual issues that accompany a cancer journey? If so, Reflections from the Home Team... Go the Distance was written to offer strength, hope and comfort when confronted with a cancer journey's challenges. Share a message of positivity with those you care about. Learn more at this link:

www.reflectionsfromthehometeam.com/